So what kind of music are you into then?

On meeting someone for the first time there is always one question I fear more than any other.

"So what kind of music are you into then?"

While this blog was intended to help me exorcise my demons and allow me to elucidate that which I can never seem to express in person, thankfully that need is erased by music scrobbler last.fm. While I begin to mumble something unintelligibly, this becaped superhero swoops down to provide me with the perfect tailor-made answer. (I knew there was reason I signed up).

"Well my dear fellow, I'm into experimental, electronic, noise, ambient and indie, including:
Melt-Banana, BBC Radio 5 Live, Animal Collective, Satanicpornocultshop, Liars, BBC 6 Music, The Knife, BBC Radio 4, Broadcast, Dan Deacon, Shining, Andrew Collins and Richard Herring, Mouse on Mars, Battles, Fennesz, Laurel Halo, Scott Walker, Deerhoof, Matmos, Autechre, Black Dice, James Ferraro, Death Grips, Swans, Jonny Trunk, Atom™, Sonic Youth, Rustie, Prurient, Hanne Hukkelberg, Alexander Tucker, Wolf Eyes, Sweet Billy Pilgrim, Actress, Hell Is For Heroes, Burial, Zavoloka & AGF, Harry Pussy, The Times, DJ Rashad, Evangelista, Asa-Chang & 巡礼, The Locust, Grimes, John Fahey, Lightning Bolt, Emeralds, Crystal Castles, Bass Clef, Otomo Yoshihide."

By the end of that mouthful (that was all one sentence) my acquaintance has either left the room or is giving me a soul-piercing glare. And they would be within their right to. What a stupid answer to a innocuous question! Also big lulz at the inclusion of ultra-hip electro-wonky outfit BBC Radio 4.

I guess its a fairly accurate representation though. I mean this is stuff I've been listening to. Usually when people ask this question they expect a genre or a couple of band names and last.fm's answer kinda provides that. (I have an issue with the "experimental" genre but that's for another day). But looking at it again, what about my interest in 20th century classical music or Saharan blues or technical death metal? Or the fact that right now I'm listening to a mix of free-Jazz and Korean zither music. This is the crux of why I'm terrified of this question. I like too much.

"So what kind of music are you into then?"

The brain is overwhelmed with choices. How does one communicate such an eclectic taste?

"Uh... I like a bit of everything really."

Ah, the ultimate cop-out. An answer that says nothing. What has my curious new friend learned from me? In this context: everything is nothing. It's basically perceived short-hand for "I don't really want to answer that question" which seems to placate some people. However, it could also be perceived as saying "Ah, such a sophisticated person as myself, could never expect one such as you to comprehend the kind of rare and exclusive audio delights of which I indulge"...

"Oh, so like obscure bands and stuff yeh?"

"Something like that..."


"..."

What surprises me is the oxymoronic potential other people have pulled from my preferred response.

"Uh.. I like a bit of everything really. 70's Rock, indie, heavy metal... yeah I'm open to anything, me"

Thanks for that. Call Oxford! We've redefined everything to mean Western guitar-based popular music written since 1970! No wonder nobody understands what I mean.

Facetiousness aside, my real intention with my answer is that I'm trying to skirt around the inherent tribal nature of musical affiliation. In a world where Goths are an official minority, we can clearly see that asking someone's music taste is not as light a question as it might first seem. I know if I try and pick any one of the many bands or genres I enjoy, it'll be the wrong one.


"So what kind of music are you into then?"


"...Minimal techno...?"

"Really?! Ugh!"

 Hell, I'm worse than anybody for making snap judgements about people for their musical taste.

"Oh really, One Direction? Soulless moron!"

Can we save such jibes until I've learned your surname, at least. Better yet I don't really want to bond with you over music.

At this point it becomes clear that the issue is me. In terms of music taste I've forged bravely ahead down a dark, overgrown forest path to live out a hermitic existence listening to the sounds of the wind and Mongolian throat-singing. Any outsiders I treat with fear and a very pointy stick. I take things too personally, is what I'm trying to say. I'm sure everybody else can just brush off the fact that some people didn't like the last Animal Collective album, but to me saying such a thing feels like you're attacking my very soul!

Its this sense of being under attack that means I basically don't want to use music as a basis for friendship. By and large this has been easy to achieve because people are complex, multi-faceted creatures. I've been able to share some music-related things with friends but such things are always discovered accidentally and aren't forced by a rigorous note-taking or Facebook 'Like's scrolling just to answer that bloody question.


"So what kind of music are you into then?"

"You know what mate, I'm into music which challenges me and enriches my soul. Music which is inventive, exciting, cathartic, baffling, complex, adventurous, playful, joyous, bleak, haunted, iconoclastic."

But who in their right mind would say such things to someone they've only just met.




"Uh... I like a bit of everything really."



But of course I don't like everything, that would be ridiculous. I can't stand Reggae, Country & Western, Rap, Trance, Minimalism, Gospel, Pop punk, Salsa, Northern Soul, Grime, Ska, Dixieland Jazz, Opera...

I'll stick with my cop-out answer for now. Who knows, I may miss a kindred spirit but its probably better than alienating every person I'll ever meet. And I won't ask them that question back because I don't want to be filled with a petty prejudice just because they never grew out of their nu-metal phase. I hold the opinion that human beings are essentially nice; up until the point you know they enjoy Coldplay. Ignorance is bliss!

"So what kind of music..."

"Hey, how about that local sports team, huh?"